Have you ever felt like you just didn’t fit in? If so, you probably weren’t using enough lube. NEVER forget the lube. You don’t wanna injure yourself or those poor girls trying to take that giant snake monster of yours. It’s just sexual etiquette. Just take my word for it. This is not a lesson you want to learn the hard way.

I mean it! Once on a first date, I went in dry, rough, and quick. She spent the next four nights in the hospital and I spent the next five nights with a sore dick. Oh, the sex was great and all, but I hate paying hospital bills for bitches I just met. It’s just a little pet peeve of mine.

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