Have you ever felt like you just didn’t fit in? If so, you probably weren’t using enough lube. NEVER forget the lube. You don’t wanna injure yourself or those poor girls trying to take that giant snake monster of yours. It’s just sexual etiquette. Just take my word for it. This is not a lesson you want to learn the hard way.

I mean it! Once on a first date, I went in dry, rough, and quick. She spent the next four nights in the hospital and I spent the next five nights with a sore dick. Oh, the sex was great and all, but I hate paying hospital bills for bitches I just met. It’s just a little pet peeve of mine.

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Relax little one, he’s not about to baptise you with that thing… or is he? Perhaps he’s going to knight you instead. Perhaps he’s the knight and he’s about to mount you and ride you into the sunset.

It doesn’t happen often anymore and that’s perhaps just because my social circles have gotten smaller as I’ve aged, which seems to be the case for everyone, but every now and again I’d hear a guy try and fly the “it’s not the size of the ship that matters, it’s the motion of the ocean”-kite after a few drinks at a party where the conversation has turned to sex as it always does. Which of course is a blatant give away that he has a small dick.

Women often try and be kind and support a statement like that which of course is a dead give away that her man, who she loves dearly, has a small dick.

All you need to do is turn to porn to realise that when the bullshit is boiled off size matters a great deal. Chicks love big dicks and this site focuses on teens specifically.

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I don’t know why so many guys out there are into one thing, and that’s it. Like, I get it, blondes are hot, but must every video you jerk off to feature a blonde in pigtails and pink panties sucking cock like a lollipop? Not that that’s not hot as hell, but where is the variety!?

I know I love to get a taste of something a little different every once in a while. One of my favorite guilty pleasures is seeing cute black teens work the nut out of a white dudes hard dick! I guess it gives me a glimmer of hope. I never thought I could have anything in common with a tight black teen, so why would they want someone like me? Well as it turns out, there are plenty of gorgeous ebony sluts who love making guys like me cum!

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